This week we’re celebrating 2 months with our sweet little Liam Brooks! As I reflect on all these past 8 weeks have held, I feel exhaustion, relief, gratitude, sadness, love, and joy. While love and joy far surpass the exhaustion or sadness, I can’t help but acknowledge the traumatic experience we had bringing our son into this world. We, as humans, don’t often like to discuss, dwell, or even think about the hard parts of our stories. Yet one of the greatest things I’ve learned in hearing so many personal stories is that acknowledging the difficult is a key part of the process in finding joy. For us, Liam’s birth was indeed traumatic and thus, it only feels right to share that part of our story too.
Liam’s Birth Story
I was rushed to the hospital in the early morning on November 27 with what we now know was a placental abruption. I was monitored the whole day and night before doctors urged us to undergo an early c-section the next morning. The bleeding hadn’t stopped, and they were concerned the abruption could get worse and be life threatening for both baby and I. Subsequently, Liam was 4 weeks early and was in respiratory distress when he was born. He was immediately admitted to the NICU, where he stayed for 19 days. I spent 6 days in the hospital with Sam by my side, and we traveled to the hospital for each of the remaining days to visit Liam.
I feel relief knowing the situation could have been much worse, and immense gratitude for God’s watchful presence through the doctors and nurses who took care of us. Part of the trauma we experienced lies in the fact of realizing we could have lost our lives, yet didn’t…Immense gratitude.
I feel sadness for all that I hoped our experience would be, but wasn’t. I’d planned for an entirely natural birth. I wanted as little medical intervention as possible for Liam’s sake. Instead, our experience was far from natural, as everything was augmented with medicine. Instead of rooming-in with him, he was in the NICU on a CPAP machine. Instead of nursing him, he was taking formula via a feeding tube. I didn’t get to see or hold him for 24 hours. And of course, he didn’t get to come home with us for 19 days. While I knew he was safe in the hospital and I was so thankful for his care, I still felt sad for the things he wasn’t able to have following birth. I couldn’t help but think about the fact that he was healthy and comfortable inside my womb one minute, and the next he was ripped out into a world where he couldn’t yet breathe. He was without his mommy and alone in a foreign hospital in a world he did not know. He was hooked up to all kinds of wires, monitors, and IV’s. He was grunting and wheezing. He was uncomfortable and alone. Of course, I knew it was all in his best interest and I was so thankful he was safe, but my mama heart still ached for my little boy.
I feel exhaustion thinking back on those long days of uncertainty and worry. Exhaustion for the chaos that ensued the minute I awoke covered in blood, the chaos that really only subsided earlier this week. As someone who thrives on being prepared and organized, I definitely did not feel prepared when we were thrown into parenthood a month early! But that’s parenthood, isn’t it? His nursery wasn’t finished, and my hospital bag wasn’t packed. I wasn’t yet mentally prepared for birth (and certainly not a c-section!). I felt like there was so much more I had to learn…How do I even take care of a baby? I wasn’t sure I knew how! Everything moved so quickly, as we did all we could to keep up with the continual things coming our way the first few days and weeks. It was a lot to take in for our first baby, and it felt like we were speed-learning everything! Of course, recovering from a major surgery was an element here too. I also came down with an infection a few days after getting home that made me feel really sick, but luckily antibiotics took care of it quickly!
Love and Joy
Despite all of the difficult things we experienced, the love and joy we feel far outweighs it all! The love of a child is unlike any other love we’ve ever experienced. There aren’t words to describe how thankful and joyful we are to be little Liam’s parents! He is the sweetest and calmest baby. He loves to cuddle, and we think he’s pretty cute too! 🥰
2-Month Milestone
We can hardly believe Liam is 2 months old! He’s experienced so much in his short life already! Both sets of grandparents and Uncle Jesse visited for a good while. He got to have his first Christmas and New Year’s! He was baptized and had his first (of many 😋) photoshoots. He even had his first catch of covid…he didn’t even cry, sweet baby!
- He’s our little time clock, ready to eat every 3 hours on the button!
- He sleeps well at night between feedings and wakes up with a smile! He loves to smile at Mommy and Daddy!
- He giggles often while sleeping too!
- He loves to read Bible stories with mommy each morning and cuddle with daddy in the evenings!
- He loves to be held and is happiest knowing we’re nearby.
Newborn Photoshoot
Lisa from Lisa Lefevre Photography took Liam’s newborn photos. Her work speaks for itself, and she was so flexible in moving his photoshoot earlier, due to his early arrival - the week of Christmas too!
We’re having so much fun with our little boy, and love him so much! Despite his scary arrival into our world, he is healthy, happy, and oh so sweet! We are truly celebrating 2 months with our little boy this week, and we’re so thankful God chose us to be his parents! 💙🙏
Other related posts:
Read Baby Announcement & Gender Reveal
Read Maternity Photoshoot
Read Noah’s Ark Nursery Reveal
Related Podcast Episode
Listen to Our Story: Miscarriage and Loss with Stephanie Jacobs
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