Today’s episode is a solo episode discussing a very difficult topic…I’m finally opening up and sharing about the miscarriage and loss my husband, Sam, and I experienced earlier this year. We actually initially planned to do this episode together, but as we sat down to record, he just wasn’t ready and couldn’t do it. I would have loved to have him join me for such an important story we share together, but I honor and respect where he’s at in the grieving process.
But before we dive-in, I want to fill-you-in on what’s been happening here the last 2 months and why we took such a sudden break on this show. It has certainly been a whirlwind!
Right about the time The Lovelight Stories Podcast was launched out into the world, I found out I was pregnant again! Yay! Praise God! We were surprised and overjoyed at the little babe God was blessing us with so soon after loss. I know that’s not the case for everyone, so we truly feel so blessed.
And along with new baby, came new symptoms, and wow! In what seemed like overnight, morning sickness knocked me right off my feet! It was much more severe than the first pregnancy and I was totally not expecting it to be so difficult. I was just basically trying to survive and keep our little babe healthy. There would have been absolutely no-way I could produce this show, so I just took a break.
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In the meantime, we made it up to MN for the summer, and we’ve been continuing to work on projects (well, Sam has been working on projects) to restore this lake property into something we can share with family and friends, and of course, our new baby BOY! Yes, he’s a little boy! We had a sweet gender reveal with close family on the same beach I grew up on at the lake! We’re so excited to watch our babies enjoy summers here doing all the things I did as a little girl!
I definitely was not planning on mixing a baby announcement with our intimate story of miscarriage, but it’s just how things have fallen into place. I’m simply sharing our real-time experience of how it’s actually happening for us. And it’s becoming this beautiful story of restoration and God’s faithfulness - so why wouldn’t we share!?
We experienced deep grief and pain and are now rejoicing at the rainbow baby coming our way! And again, I know it doesn’t necessarily happen this way for everyone, so I want to honor each and every story through this episode - whether you’ve experienced both loss and the joy of a new baby, or you’re still waiting for your rainbow.
I don’t want this pregnancy to overshadow the loss, because the truth is, for anyone who’s experienced a loss, it’s not something you really ever get over and forget about. You learn to live with it. This baby doesn’t take away the sorrow of our first. At the same time, I’ve tried to be careful not to let past loss take away the joy of this miracle growing inside of me - which at times has been hard to do. Again, this is just another example of the battle of darkness and light that co-exists in our world and life stories. There’s a place for both…And it certainly makes for a more beautiful redemption story, don’t ya think?
So, in this episode, you’ll hear our personal experience of walking through an unexpected miscarriage to both: gain an understanding of those with a similar story, AND feel seen in yours. I hope to honor each and every story of miscarriage and infant loss with this episode, whether it’s similar or drastically different. If you do find yourself walking a similar path, my heart is with you. 💗
Topics covered in this episode:
- The story of how it all happened
- The hardest parts of our lived experience
- Helpful ideas of things that helped us heal
Resource links mentioned:
- Loved Baby: 31 Devotions Helping You Grieve and Cherish Your Child after Pregnancy Loss (Hardcover) – A Devotional Book on How to Cope, Mourn and Heal after Losing a Baby, by Sarah Philpott
- “Imagine Heaven: Near-Death Experiences, God's Promises, and the Exhilarating Future That Awaits You” by John Burke
Have your own story of miscarriage or loss?
If after listening to this episode, you feel compelled to share your own story of miscarriage, loss, or grief on the podcast, submit your own story here!
I'd be honored to help you craft a story that honors your own loss.
Join us in a private community discussion!
I want to create space to both share about our own experiences and heal in community, while also providing an opportunity to learn from others’ experiences too! So, I’m inviting you to join me in an intimate online gathering where we can share about our experiences while also discussing how best to support a friend/family member who might go through something similar - this means whether you’ve experienced miscarriage yourself or not, you’re invited! I’ll facilitate time for both groups to share and also time for dialog across everyone. It will be an intimate, safe space and not recorded for privacy purposes. There’s no cost either.
If you’re interested, submit your name by sending me a quick message here!
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Grandma loves you little Finley!