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Hello there, Lovely! I’m Stephanie Jacobs, a storyteller and advocate for social change, and your host of The Lovelight Stories Podcast. And…it’s been a good while. If you’ve been wondering where I’ve been, this episode will fill you in on all that happened the last 6 months, my big surprise health scare, and what you can expect from this show moving forward.
Life has a funny way of grabbing us by surprise! Basically right after launching season 3 of The Lovelight Stories Podcast, my health took a quick turn out of the blue without warning. We got just 2 episodes in, and the next thing I knew, I was releasing the 3rd from my hospital bed!
So what happened? Here’s the story:
It all started upon flying home to Minnesota for Christmas. We flew home on a late night direct flight from Atlanta, and had Liam’s 2 year birthday party the next day. By the time we were opening presents I began to experience debilitating chest pain. It seemed to have started in an instant. One moment I was running around serving birthday cake, and the next I was sitting on the floor almost unable to read my son’s cards out loud!
And the next day was worse…I barely made it to a family movie outing to celebrate my mom’s birthday, but I did! And while I was in the movie, my mother-in-law scheduled me an appointment with her doctor, and I went straight there after the show. I was on the tail-end of a bad chest cold, so we thought I may have pneumonia or something, but it turns out I was in for quite a long journey.
The pain continued to get rapidly worse. I couldn’t sleep laying down, I had a fever, elevated heart rate, shortness of breath, terrible night sweats, I couldn’t eat, and was vomiting from the pain. I can confidently say I’ve never felt more sick in my life, which prompted us to continue going to the ER. My first visit was on Christmas Eve. We were trying to open presents and I was so sick, I couldn’t open a single one. Instead, we headed straight to the Emergency Room. It turns out I ended up going to the ER 3 times before being admitted to the hospital for 10 days!
At my second ER visit, they found a 2-in mass in my chest and told us it was suspicious of lymphoma…During this time, we fully believed for 2 WEEKS that I had cancer. The time in the hospital was a really difficult 10 days. We’d come home to celebrate Christmas with family, and ended up spending Christmas and New Year’s in the hospital, while Liam spent time going back and forth between grandparents. I had never been away from Liam for so long, and we didn’t want to confuse or scare him, so I didn’t have any contact with him while in the hospital. Every time I’d get pictures or videos of him having the time of his life (thank goodness), I couldn’t help but think about what this precious little boy didn’t know yet, and I hoped it wouldn’t have a big influence on his heart so early in his life. All I can say, is that believing you have cancer as a mother of a very young child is so terrifying.
All of a sudden, we’d found ourselves sitting in the unknown looking at a year and life that would look so much different than we ever dreamed. I remember sitting in the hospital bed together with Sam watching the ball drop, crying, and getting ready to face the unknown: cancer treatment, possible infertility, losing my hair, and all the things that cancer brings.
Though the days were hard sitting in the unknown, I felt God preparing me to share my journey with all of you, and the testimony of all the ways he was already working in the background! My faith was SO ALIVE during those tough days in the hospital, and I felt strengthened by Him to face whatever was before me, sharing his light + love along the way!
After 10 days, my pain was under control, and we were still waiting for the biospy results, so they decided to send me home…without answers. Still in the dark. Still believing I had cancer. A few days later, I had a 2 hour appointment with the oncologist, discussing the two most likely cancer types I had, the treatment plan for both, the survival rates, how and when I could get connected with fertility specialists, and whether it was best to stay in Minnesota for treatment or go back home to Georgia. Sam will tell you, that was the hardest, most sobering moment for him during this whole journey. I on the other hand, was just numb to it all, and feeling prepared to just “get on with it”. What else can one say other than, well, “Let’s go!”?
Because my preliminary biopsy results were inconclusive and we were still waiting for the full results, the oncologist ordered a PET scan to see if there was cancer anywhere in my bones that would be easier to biopsy than doing a second, more invasive biopsy through my side and chest. That biopsy alone was risky and would have about a 6-8 week recovery period, so it was preferable to exhaust all options first! …And it wasn’t until that PET scan DIDN’T light up that we realized it wasn’t cancer! The oncologist was completely shocked, and so were we! We were elated! Yet we were then back to square 1, which was hard to swallow too…We were left wondering, what is causing all of these debilitating symptoms?
Six weeks passed...
6 weeks of numerous tests and appointments, medicines, a biopsy, debilitating pain, sleeping sitting up, and so much more…We felt really in the dark and didn’t know where to turn, so we ended up contracting with a private health management firm to help us find answers. Shortly after, we finally exhausted our options at the hospital we were receiving care from, and were then referred to Mayo Clinic in Rochester, MN.
The thoracic surgeon at Mayo Clinic confirmed the mass in my chest was a 2-inch bronchogenic cyst, which means I’d had it since birth! It develops in utero and they’re often discovered in your 30’s and 40’s, though some people never find them! 1 in 68,000 people have them. Needless to say, it’s rare, and it was pushing on many vital structures such as: the right pulmonary artery (actually constricting blood flow by 50%), the left mainstem bronchus leading to the lung, the SVC, trachea, lungs, and other blood vessels.
Due to my symptoms, it’s large size, and it crowding other structures, it had to be removed. And because of the location at the base of the trachea, and it being a high-risk procedure for bleeding, they had to do a full sternotomy (like open heart surgery). It was a major surgery with a long 6+ months of recovery…hence why this podcast is on pause for so long!
The surgery was successful, and the surgeon was able to remove 95+% of the cyst and burned the rest, so it shouldn’t come back! I spent 5 days in the hospital, another night at a hotel nearby, and then a week at home before our little family flew back to Georgia!
We packed for a 12 day visit for Christmas, and it was exactly 3 months by the time we flew home. Our Christmas tree was still up when we arrived in March! Christmas in March? Never done it, but why not? Our nanny was at the airport waiting for us at baggage claim, as well as, surprisingly 2 wheelchair assists, so we were in good hands! Thankfully we were able to arrange extra help when we got home too.
I won’t go too much into the recovery, but the hospital stay was a blur and very humbling to say the least. This has been the longest and hardest recovery of all of the surgeries I’ve ever had, and there were some moments where the pain was so severe I felt as though I couldn’t breathe and began to panic. It wasn’t until about 10 weeks that I could drive for the first time, and I picked up Liam for the first time at 12 weeks. I hope you know I’m not sharing this for sympathy, rather, I simply want to be open and transparent with you just like the guests on this show are! It’s been a dark, hard journey, yet I’ve had so much light and peace in my heart from God’s presence at the same time. My own experience has been one of wrestling with the delicate balance of dark and light we explore on this show!
Sam’s been a complete rock for our family through all of this - continuing to work full time, take me to numerous appointments (like almost every day), keeping life moving, and taking care of Liam (amongst help from grandparents too). Not surprisingly, Liam thoroughly enjoyed all the extra time with his grandparents!!
Which brings me to sharing all of the light + love behind this story! Indeed, it’s been so hard. But it’s been even more beautiful, changing our lives for the better!
The Light + Love
First of all, we are SO THANKFUL I didn’t have cancer! And I'll forever be thankful for the perspective I was given while believing I did have cancer. More than anything, I’ve felt so loved and cared for by God. 
I fully believe His plan was to bring us to Minnesota where we could be surrounded by family and friends to help us through this. He made sure we had support from family to help with Liam, and to care for me when I couldn’t. He helped us find a medical consulting company (through a friend) who could help us advocate and find answers when we were lost. He then brought us to Mayo (which is just hours down the road) where they’re number 1 in the world for these types of surgeries that are otherwise too high risk for comfort. He brought us close to friends too, that brought us light and encouragement! He made sure we had support from our nanny to take care of things back home in GA while we were away, and she was there when we returned home too. We’ve been covered every step of the way! God doesn’t give you more than you can handle, and we’ve really understood that through this journey. 
I’ve also been so humbled and grateful by the number of people praying and checking in! Literally hundreds have prayed and stuck with me in this journey over the last 6 months. I’m amazed at how many of you haven’t forgotten, keep praying and asking for updates! I’ve felt so supported and loved. It’s overwhelming, and all I can say is THANK YOU SO MUCH! I will most certainly pay it forward when life offers the opportunity.
As hard as it’s been, this experience has changed me in ways I’ll be forever grateful for. I’ll never forget what it felt like to be told I had cancer and to then start making decisions one never hopes to have to consider…the perspective on life I’ve gained is an incredible gift, and to be able to have gained that perspective without having to go through cancer is an even greater gift. I have so much more empathy and understanding for so many who do have to go through it…My faith has been reignited too, as I watched God take care of every single detail. I could feel His divine providence over everything, and I’ve had true peace that surpasses understanding because of it. I’m walking away from this experience feeling so so grateful!
So, where is the podcast Headed?
It’s been a hard, but beautiful 6 months so far! And while I’m through the thick of it, I’m still recovering. My doctors have advised it likely won’t be until the end of August when I start to feel back to normal. Therefore, I plan to begin releasing new, regular episodes of this show again in September.
When I was told I likely had cancer, it quickly put everything into perspective, and it forced me to evaluate everything about my life - my work, purpose, family, and this podcast. And honestly, I clearly realized this podcast has taken more than it should from my family, health, and mental wellbeing. Trying to be a stay at home mom and run a podcast solo has been difficult to balance, even with a nanny that comes 2 days a week, so I can work. The truth is, this podcast takes way more time than 2 days a week. And yet, it breathes life into me, and I’m not ready to lay it down (which I did consider!).
Most importantly, I really believe in the power of these stories to transform hearts and expand perspectives! I love my family, and I what I do! So, after all the evaluating and praying, not much is actually going to change with this show, other than, I’m offering myself more grace to be flexible with the release of new episodes. It’s more about a new mindset and commitment than anything else!
If you’ve been following along for a while, you know I’ve had to pause this show multiple times due to health issues. I had a major foot surgery in 2022 to remove a bone that was broken and wouldn’t heal. In 2023 we experienced a miscarriage, then I was blessed to get pregnant with Liam and was very sick forcing me to pause the first trimester, and we then had a traumatic birth with an emergency c-section and Liam was in the NICU for 19 days. Maternity leave then followed, and now I had this major sternotomy! We plan to grow our family in the near future, so hope another maternity leave will be on the horizon too.
Basically, lots of life has happened amidst these stories (which is in keeping with the purpose behind this show, isn’t it?). I’ve realized I’ve felt immense guilt and pressure each time I’ve had to pause for very real circumstances that have been out of my control. And I’ve realized I don’t want to lay something down that’s good, something that’s been given to me as an assignment by God just because I’m worried about what else might come my way. I’ve realized that pushing forward and creating a space for these stories to reach your heart is more important than a perfect episode cadence. Some stories are better than no stories…
So, as I said, not much is actually going to change. I still plan to release new episodes each month, but with more freedom to flex when needed. To feel less pressure and stress if I miss a month because life happened. My goal is to release an episode the second Wednesday of every month, but sometimes it might be the third Wednesday instead. And when it’s time for another maternity leave, I’m not going to feel guilty, because I know both motherhood and creating space for these stories are important callings in my life, and there is indeed a time for everything under the sun!
Because there will likely be times when a new episode isn’t released according to the monthly cadence, the best way to be notified when a new episode releases is to subscribe to the show on your favorite podcast player and join our email community at stephaniemjacobs.com/manifesto. You’ll receive a downloadable copy of our community manifesto and receive updates when a new episode is released!
I hope this new mindset doesn’t feel like I’m less committed to this show, rather, instead I want you to know I’m just continuing to find my way and fighting to make space for this podcast to continue. Good things are rarely easy, but they’re so worthwhile. This forced pause has given me time to reflect and make a slight mindset change, so that this show can continue - and that itself is a gift! Thank you for being here and growing together with me!
Between now and September, I’m focused on continued recovery, reclaiming my health, and spending time with my little family! This year more than any before it, has shown me just how lucky I am to be alive and still have time to just be, be with those I love!
Summer Plans!
As for our summer? It’s looking a bit different this year too. We won’t be spending the summer in Minnesota like we usually do, as the physical labor involved is too much for me to manage while recovering. I certainly don’t want to push too hard and set myself back, so we’re going to take the summer off and make a shorter visit up north to see family and friends instead! While it may look different, we still plan to make the most of our summer in Georgia - beginning with a little weekend getaway to Lake Oconee where Sam and I got engaged! It’ll be a full-circle moment bringing Liam back to where it all began, and it’ll be the perfect place to celebrate togetherness and all we’ve made it through!
Lovely, I hope you have a beautiful summer, and we’ll see you in September!
Until then, I’m sending lots of love + light your way!! 
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